Mama's New Toy

I have been like the world's worst blogger. But I have sooo much time off that I've actually been utilizing it.

So remember that big surprise I was talking about before?

Well it has arrived and it is AWESOME.



This...THIS AMAZING, wonderful, where-have-you-been-all-my-life TV is MORE than I could have ever dreamed of.

Mommy is a TV freak.

It's scary even. Movies, tv shows, I'm just an addict.

I have close to 200 movies, and EVERY. SINGLE. SEASON. of Friends (among other seasons of course).

But this TV literally does everything just short of wiping your ass.

Just title of the TV alone takes like a solid minute.

*AHEM*

47" LG Cinema LED 3D Smart TV.

Wam Bam Thank You Ma'am.

This thing does it all...and compared to what used to be there it's like night and day. Like a King versus a peasant. And if you look really close and listen really carefully, you can see an aura glowing around it while tiny angels sing every time you turn it on.

I know...I'm ridiculous. But still.

And what makes this toy even better you ask? Well, as mentioned before I live in New England sooooo every 3 seconds the weather is changing....and that 80 degree weather we had last week?...GONE. It's been replaced with this damp, dreary, 45 degree stay-at-home-and-nap weather.

Fan-fucking-tastic.

Except NOW bug and I have our new toy so we can watch all my our favorite shows while mother nature has her bi-polar fit.

Hooray!

So as we speak I have the fire going (Yep, a fire...in May) with my feet up on the couch, bug passed out beside me, hot chocolate in hand, and a whole season of The Hills (guilty pleasure...please,judge away) waiting to be watched.

Life. Is. Good.

Holy Crap I'm a Mom

You know how some things in life take like FOREVER to realize? I keep having those moments ALL the time...over really big things and insignificant things.

Por ejemplo (ya like that? I still remember SOME spanish...it's cool..I only took it for SEVEN years):

Graduating high school was probably my first surreal experience. I could not believe I was a graduate...or how old I was getting...

And when boyfriend and I found out we were pregnant? I didn't somewhat believe it until our first ultrasound and then honestly it didn't really hit home until I was giving birth to her and then held her in my arms for the first time...And then for probably a MONTH after having her I would wake up every morning and be like "Shit...I'm a mom...when did that happen?" It is so surreal...and still is even seeing her adorable little face I just wanna smush like ALL the time...I still can't believe she's mine.

Well, yesterday, I received a phone call from a number I didn't recognize and when I listened to the voice mail some woman told me I had a package delivered to my house but because I wasn't there to receive it they gave it to my neighbor to hold on to until I got home...I didn't even know they could do that...

So for the next 2 hours I sat with ants in my damn pants waiting to go home and see what it was.

I get home and on the counter (boyfriend had retrieved said package) was a GINORMOUS fruit bouquet. Like HUGE. I looked at boyfriend and was like...did YOU do this? And he assures me for the 297452th time that it was not in fact from him so I read the card. My best friend, Lindsay (yes, you have heard that name before, she's the one from the sticky shovel incident) sent me this awesome-ness with a card that said "Happy first Mother's Day. Love, Linds".

INSTANT tears.

FIRST OF ALL.

Don't get me wrong...I LOVE flowers. I do. You can see them ALL over my blog. HOWEVER...nothing says "I love you", "Thank you." "You're fucking awesome", "Get well soon" WHATEVER...like food does.

Seriously.

And not just any food. Chocolate covered food...my FAVORITE kind. And it's fruit...so I don't have to feel guilty about stuffing face and eating the entire basket.

And second... the point of this post...

This thoughtful, unexpected, totally fantastic (THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!) gift reminded me that I'm a mother this Mother's Day. And while people have been saying it to me, I've kind of just been brushing it off. It wasn't really until I received her gift that I was like....Damn, that's right....I'm a mom this mother's day. Some things really just don't hit home until a significant moment. And THAT was my significant moment. I'm SO happy to be a mom. I'm so happy to have such a wonderful, beautiful baby. I'm so happy to have a loving boyfriend. AND I'm so happy to have friends who make all of these amazing moments in my life THAT much better. Happy mama, today :)

Deep Thoughts Thursday

This poem, to date, is still my favorite of all time. I think I love it so much because 1. I never had an issue understanding it (none of that read between the lines BS) and 2. It really applies to everyone. At one point or another you will have to make a decision in your life, a big decision, and you will have two...or sometimes even more options to choose from. We even have those little choices we make daily. How often do you find yourself thinking about the "what if's". What if I never went to that place, or met that person. If you really think about it there are an infinite amount of "paths". Any little tiny occurrence, decision, choice we make could potentially drastically alter the course of our lives.

So when faced with a decision...a path..like in Frost's poem....do you go the way you know is safe...the path you know many people have traversed? Or do you choose the path that few have traveled, a path with the possibility of complication OR an even better outcome than the alternate?

I pulled an annoying girlfriend yesterday...sitting on the couch with boyfriend, bug fast asleep between us, I looked at him and said "Do you ever wonder what your life would be like if we had stayed broken up?" He looked down at bug, looked up at me and with ZERO hesitation he says "No.". While I sat there, my little black grinch heart melting from his answer, I couldn't help but think that I WISH I were that way. I wish I could journey down my "road of life", if you will, and NOT look back. NOT wonder about the "what-ifs". And the more I thought about it the more I realized how shitty of a way it is to go about life that way...to constantly wonder "what if". Well,to be frank, who the hell cares? That bell has rung, that song has been sang...the decision has already been made, so why look back? If you regret a choice you've made....learn from it. If we sit back and constantly wonder what could have happened or should have happened you lose the NOW.

A new path may be scary or challenging, but sometimes the outcome is worth the risk. THAT, my friends, is exactly how I felt when we found out we were pregnant with bug. I was scared, I thought I was gunna puke (and not from morning sickness), I questioned my ability to be a good mother...and even from the get-go boyfriend was ready. He knew that we were going to have her and raise her to the best of our ability. He KNEW that from the very beginning. And now looking back at that moment, I realize how absolutely right he was. You take what is handed to you and you make the best of it. And now, I can't even begin to imagine my life without this little girl. I can't. She is my whole world, and I'm a happier and better person now that she's in my life. It was a path (if given the choice) I probably would not have taken. And now, even though I had no choice in the matter, I'm thankful for her. Every single second of every day I'm thankful for my bug.

I think from now on I really need to start appreciating the NOW more, and not wonder about the could-have-beens. I love my boyfriend, I love my bug, I love my friends and family. I'm happy, I'm healthy. And THAT is enough.

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I- I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference."

C'est La Vie

Recently I bought me a new car. This was a life altering event. It was my first "big girl" purchase, and to say it's been my best purchase to date would be an understatement.



I mean. Just look at her (her name is Violet by the way...you can't see it in the picture very well but she's actually purple. IN LOVE...and yes, I'm one of those crazies that names their car). HOWEVER today my "best purchase ever" is kicking me in the ass. Today, my car hates me. And nothing terrifies the ever living shit out of me more than a malfunctioning vehicle. I have been in my fair share of predicaments with vehicles, and now having bug, I'm the worlds largest worry wart. My old car (the car I was given in high school) was previously owned by Satan. That car had it out for me and in the span of two years I had been stranded AT LEAST a half dozen times. That asshole on the side of the road, bawling their eyes out, throwing shit around like a nutbag and having a spastic fit in their car? Ya ...that's me. It happens after the third or fourth time your reject-mobile breaks down in a ridiculously short period of time. Needless to say, that made purchasing a new (to me) car all the more comforting.

While on the topic, I've also been stranded in OTHER peoples cars, because... well... that's just my shitty ass luck. The boyfriend and I a year and a half or so ago got in a huge fight and broke up. So in typical best friend fashion my two best friends took it upon themselves to take me on a road trip to get it off my mind. And yes, it is just how you are picturing it. So off we travel in a VW bug (I wish I could make this shit up)off to new york city, which for us was about a 3-3 1/2 hour drive. Well my friends bug (the car...not my baby) is about as reliable as the titanic. In other words, about halfway there, we break down. SOO now not only am I grieving from the breakup, now we're stranded in the middle-of-fucking-nowhere Connecticut, in the parking lot of a drug store. So what is the only solution? We drink. And oh my lanta did we ever. We basically played hot potato with a bottle of vodka and finished an entire bottle (straight, mind you) in roughly 5 minutes. It was as disgusting as it was ridiculous. We had to get towed from Connecticut to Rhode Island and they slapped us with a GIANT ASS tab. Awesome.

So long story short, I'm accustomed to this shit-fest. Now my new car this morning? Ugh. Thankfully boyfriend is more than handy in the car department and hopefully I wont need to hand over an arm and a leg to pay for the damn thing. Oh well....C'est la vie, right?